I WROTE AND ILLUSTRATED A children’s e-book. It’s known as "the serious GOOSE." IT COMES OUT day after today. All the money I MAKE FROM THE e-book GOES TO kid’s medical institution right here IN L.A. AND children’s HOSPITALS throughout THE UNITED STATES. THE guide IS dedicated TO MY young children, JANE AND BILLY. I name MY DAUGHTER GOOSE. It’s HER NICKNAME. THE publication was once prompted by way of THAT. AND once I got a copy final WEEK, WE mounted SOME HIDDEN CAMERAS IN MY place of business and i learn THE guide TO THEM AND NOW i’ll read IT TO YOU TOO. Here it is. "the intense GOOSE." >> hello, bill. Hi, JANE. WHAT’S THIS? What is the title OF THIS booklet? >> just right e-book. >> WHAT’S IT referred to as? >> JIMMY KIMMEL. >> that’s right. Thanks, JANE. ARE YOU EXCITED? >> YEAH. >> inform YOUR FACE. >> simply learn IT. >> k. YOU capable, BILLY? WHAT ARE YOU eating? >> ORANGE. >> AN ORANGE? K. ALL correct.Here WE GO. >> discontinue taking note of US AND PAY awareness TO THE guide and read IT. >> Jimmy: ok. SORRY. >> i want extra ORANGE. >> Jimmy: YOU want extra ORANGES? Okay. Quickly AS I read THE guide i will GET YOU one other ORANGE, ok? >> i’ll BE right back. >> Jimmy: you’ll BE right back? Okay, YOU GO GET AN ORANGE AND i will start studying THE guide. "the serious GOOSE." here it’s. This is a — >> severe GOOSE. >> Jimmy: there may be NOTHING foolish ABOUT THIS GOOSE. Do not EVEN try to be silly round THIS? GOOSE. YOU like it ALREADY? THIS GOOSE is not going to SMILE AT ALL. Not even though you put A chook ON HER HEAD. NOTHING. Despite the fact that YOU had been to decorate THIS GOOSE AS A MOOSE. ZILCH. Although YOU ORDER A PIZZA. >> WHAT DOES ZILCH mean? >> Jimmy: ZILCH approach ZERO. NOTHING. TOPPED WITH delicious SNAILS.NO SMILE. THIS GOOSE method business. Critical industry. No person can make THIS GOOSE SMILE. >> WHAT DOES THIS SAY? >> Jimmy: no person. WHAT’S THAT, YOU SAY? YOU believe you can do IT? HA! >> NO. It’s LIKE THIS. HA! >> Jimmy: HA. YOU think that you could MAKE THIS GOOSE SMILE? There is not any approach you can MAKE THIS GOOSE SMILE. No person CAN. It is a NO-SMILING GOOSE. But GO right forward. Look in the replicate and give IT A SHOT.MAKE humorous FACES. Let’s have a look at WHAT you may have got. STICK OUT YOUR TONGUE AND MAKE YOUR EARS WIGGLE. ACT LIKE A MONKEY. THIS GOOSE is not going to snigger. CLUCK LIKE A bird. MOO LIKE A COW. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >> i’m DOING THIS. >> Jimmy: OH. BE GOOFY, BE DOOFY, ANY way YOU understand how. However YOU DO IT, IT is not going to BE adequate. THIS GOOSE isn’t silly. >> GOO, GOO, GOO, GOO, GOO. >> Jimmy: THIS GOOSE is simply too difficult. GA, GA, GOO, GA, GA? WHAT? SEE? I HATE to claim I told YOU SO. But this is precisely WHAT I KNEW WOULD happen. Excellent are attempting, though. YOU have been VERY funny. MOST GEESE WOULD HAVE LAUGHED SO hard EGGS would be popping out. But now not THIS GOOSE. THIS GOOSE WILL on no account, EVER — UH-OH. WHAT is this? BILLY, WHAT’S going down? >> THE MOUTH. >> Jimmy: anything IS happening TO THIS GOOSE. >> HE SMILED! >> Jimmy: HE SMILED? NO.THIS can’t BE. Stop BEING SO foolish. It is a critical GOOSE. Do not make THE GOOSE SMILE. OH, NO. This is terrible. By way of THE power VESTED IN ME by THE ORDER of serious GEESE AND GOOSES I HEREBY COMMAND YOU TO discontinue fun THIS GOOSE. WOW. THE GOOSE IS quite laughing. >> he is happy. >> Jimmy: he is happy. This is not such a critical GOOSE after all. Correctly, THIS seems to be A — silly GOOSE. Thanks to YOU. You are a silly kid. >> he is sporting A HEEL AND A BOOT. >> Jimmy: he’s sporting A HEEL AND A BOOT.You’ll be able to BE listening to FROM OUR ATTORNEYS. THE? Finish. >> look at the camera. >> Jimmy: YEAH, there is A digital camera proper THERE. >> hello. >> Jimmy: SAY hello, BILLY. >> hello. >> Jimmy: SO GUYS, all the cash THAT I MAKE FROM THIS guide GOES TO kid’s health center, the place BILLY bought HIS heart surgical procedure AND children’s HOSPITALS around the nation. WHAT DO YOU consider ABOUT THAT? You love THAT, BILLY? YOU DO? You adore THAT, JANE? >> MM-HMM. >> Jimmy: "the intense GOOSE." WHAT’S THIS referred to as? >> critical GOOSE. >> Jimmy: right. >> critical GOOSE through JIMMY KIMMEL. That’s MY DAD..